


The Microwave

by FlightOfInsanity



Series: Halo Shorts [2]
Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Forerunners, I couldn't resist, Imagine your OTP, domestic forerunner nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:31:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightOfInsanity/pseuds/FlightOfInsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Librarian brings home another quaint human treasure. The Didact proves this one might have been a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Microwave

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Based on this post/microwave: http://wholocksupersoupofpain.tumblr.com/post/137189319432/startrekrenegades-knitmeapony-darktome
> 
> 2) Why ancient humans have a microwave that plays Auld Lang Syne is a mystery we may never solve
> 
> 3) Forerunners have microwave-safe dishes

“What is that?”

The Librarian waved away the Huragok that had finished adapting the human device to work with Forerunner power sources and glanced back at her husband. She gestured at the silver box sitting on the primarily empty counter. “The Humans call them “microwaves”. I assume because they generate microwave radiation to warm up their food, but…”

She trailed off as the Didact turned his puzzled expression to her instead of her newest treasure. “What?”

“We don’t need this.”

“No, but it’s charming. Here, listen!”

She quickly entered a few seconds on the microwave and pressed start. The little machine whirred to life and hummed as it rotated the empty plate inside. As the timer neared zero the Librarian pointed excitedly at the device. The last second ticked away and a melody began to play as the word “End” appeared where the time had been.

They both stood there staring as the microwave continued to sing – the Librarian with barely contained delight, the Didact with obvious bewilderment. He was used to his wife bringing home strange human devices from her trips, but this was certainly new. The little tune continued for several more seconds; long enough for the Didact to wonder if it would ever actually stop.

“The merchant assured me that most other microwaves simply use a loud beeping when they’ve finished.”

The Didact’s mouth pulled into a thin line – he was not sure this was a good idea. “And it… always plays the whole tune?”

“We are _keeping_ it.”

 

* * *

 

 

The last note of the dutiful melody echoed, once again, through their living chambers. The Librarian pressed her palms to her eyes and sighed through her nose. Perhaps that was the last time. Surely her husband couldn’t have found so many things to irradiate?

A few seconds of blessed silence passed and the now-dreaded sound of the microwave’s song began once more. She dropped her hands into her lap and looked at the ceiling as though it would give her guidance. Her husband had been so reluctant to let her keep the microwave at first, but now…

She sighed once more and rose, leaving the room. As she entered their kitchen she saw the Didact preparing to put yet another item in the microwave.

“ _Husband_.”

The Didact started the microwave once more and turned around, an obvious gleam of mischief in his eyes. The Librarian stared at him, then at the collection of cups all over the counter, and then back at him. She waved a hand helplessly. “Shouldn’t you be meditating?”

“I was,” he replied. “But then I thought, why not make use of this new device of yours and make some tea to help me focus?”

“Fourteen cups of tea?”

“I was very thirsty.”

The microwave, oblivious as it was to the conversation, loudly announced the success of the fifteenth cup of tea. The Didact’s face lit up in delight and the Librarian sighed and massaged her eyes.

“I see your point. I will return it to the merchant the next chance I get.”

“ _Return_ it?” the Didact asked. “Oh, no. We’re _keeping_ it.”


End file.
